A shout out to the Good Men on International Women’s Day 2018
Goldie Magazine is all for seeking gender equality and we realise it’s easy to unintentionally sideline a group. So on International Women’s Day 2018, your Editor in Chief would like to include a mention of the extraordinary good men in this world – those who transcend the misogynist headline grabbing, vile examples of manhood. So I’m penning a few words of appreciation to all the husbands, partners, sons, lovers, brothers and friends. Life’s not as easy and straightforward for them as we might assume. Many men seem unsure where to pitch their levels of maleness with us ladies, which frankly depends on what time of the month we are at. These fine good chaps can be easily dismissed when we’re ovulating in favour of the “bad boys” – those with whom the ride is so dangerously attractive, usually heartbreaking. We’ve all fallen for it, some of us learn this life lesson at the sharp end, move on, get stuck on repeat, addicted to the thrill. In other words, we capricious ladies demand a bit of it all! An article in medicalnewstoday.com suggests: “Stereotypical belief holds that the majority of women prefer dominant men with a masculine body type. But there is good news for men who do not fit this description. New research suggests that most women are only attracted to this type of man for a few days a month – during ovulation – and do not desire them as long-term partners.” Hallelujah to that!
I sometimes think the feminist agenda which gathered such necessary momentum the 1970’s, did a disservice to the good men of a whole generation, who were left feeling confused about what was acceptable and not sexist in a woman’s eyes. That said, it’s currently a confusing time for both sexes, with the recent public revelations and twitter condemnations of predatory, mysoginistic, behaviour that’s alive and thriving in certain circles, regardless of any equality progression. Thaddeus Howze writes in his article; What Makes a Man a Hero? for thegoodmenproject.com:- “I have chosen the foolish, heroic route. Where I try to make the world a better place, one foolish effort at a time. Convincing people to join me in tilting at the windmills of racism, of classism, of separation, of honor killings, of dispelling LGBTIQA hatred, of environmental protection and the belief in people having an intrinsic value whether they be beggar or mathematical prodigies who can eat Einstein theories for breakfast.” Why does he feel he’s being foolish? To me he is undoubtedly one of the good men.
So, on a personal note, how would I describe the good man who in my 30’s became my husband and father to my children? He is one of the softest, hardest, strongest men I have ever met, though not in the stereotypical ways you might think. He can get the business end of a dirty job and be a fearsome adversary, yet he’s in touch with his feminine side and not afraid to wear an (Alexander McQueen admittedly!) leather kilt in public and cry when watching my film choice (The Note Book.) He changes nappies, mops up vomit, mops up me. This man has had to pick gingerly through our relationship, when I was in my fertile years of hormonal craziness. Often I would glimpse the look of shell-shock as I emerged happily from another increasingly (as I got older) hellish monthly cycle, followed closely behind by our teenage daughter’s own emerging hell cycle!…Now we laugh about it, but at the time it must have seemed like an insurmountable alien invasion. He is a solid gold hero in my eyes and those of his family. He can still manage to surprise me after 29 years together. He does what he does, including holding down a full time job, dealing with 24/7 pain from a spinal injury many years ago and now has to spend part of his day in a wheelchair.
He is just one example of the many good men in my life – not boring, not weak. Fearless in his confrontation of what life serves him. He’s happy and comfortable in the company of women, even when they are challenging and seemingly incomprehensible to his male sensibilities. Too good to be true? Well, I could list the down sides, but i’ll save that for another day, another mood……
Love & Peace
Jeanie Marsh-Dawson x